{"product_id":"hope-your-new-neighbors-arent-crackheads-funny-candle","title":"Hope Your New Neighbors Aren't Crackheads Funny Candle","description":"\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTHE ULTIMATE NEW HOME REALITY CHECK:\u003c\/b\u003e Forget the boring welcome mat. This candle is the most honest way to acknowledge the mystery of moving next to strangers. It’s a guaranteed laugh for housewarming parties, new renters, or anyone who loves a bit of edgy humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e100 HOURS OF HOUSE-HUNTING RELIEF:\u003c\/b\u003e Moving is exhausting, but your home should be your peace. Our massive 16.5oz mason jar candles offer an \u003cb\u003e80–100 hour burn time\u003c\/b\u003e, giving you plenty of time to unpack and keep a close eye on the driveway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eFARM-POURED FOR A FRESH START:\u003c\/b\u003e Hand-poured on our family farm in \u003cb\u003eLebanon, Missouri\u003c\/b\u003e, using \u003cb\u003e100% natural soy wax\u003c\/b\u003e. It provides a clean, non-toxic burn that clears the air of \"old house\" smells and replaces them with premium, farm-fresh fragrance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSCENTS FOR A SAFE SANCTUARY:\u003c\/b\u003e From the \"Nothing To Hide\" cleanliness of \u003cb\u003eFresh Linen\u003c\/b\u003e to the sophisticated, grounding notes of \u003cb\u003eSandalwood \u0026amp; Suede\u003c\/b\u003e, our high-fragrance oils make every room feel safe and inviting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eUSA MADE \u0026amp; REUSABLE MASON JAR:\u003c\/b\u003e Proudly made in the USA with heavy-duty glass. Once you’ve survived the first 100 hours in your new place, clean out the jar and reuse it for storage, loose change, or a drink to calm your nerves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e The \"Good Neighborhood\" Scent Menu\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eFresh Linen (The \"Nothing To Hide\" Scent):\u003c\/b\u003e A crisp, clean blend of \u003cb\u003epowder and musk\u003c\/b\u003e. It smells like fresh laundry and a house that is 100% free of any suspicious activity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSandalwood \u0026amp; Suede (The Sophisticated Bunker):\u003c\/b\u003e A rich, earthy mix of \u003cb\u003edark chocolate, cedar, and velvet musk\u003c\/b\u003e. It creates a high-end, grounding vibe that makes your new home feel like a fortress of luxury.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSun Washed Citrus (The Bright Side):\u003c\/b\u003e Zesty \u003cb\u003elemon and agave\u003c\/b\u003e create a crisp, energizing atmosphere. It’s the perfect way to keep things bright and cheerful, even if the neighbor's house has boarded-up windows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eBlack Raspberry Vanilla (The Sweetest Security):\u003c\/b\u003e Our #1 bestseller. A luscious blend of \u003cb\u003eripe berries and creamy vanilla\u003c\/b\u003e. A sweet reward for finally finishing the unpacking process.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eApples \u0026amp; Bourbon (The Cozy Welcome):\u003c\/b\u003e Warm \u003cb\u003eorchard apples and smooth bourbon\u003c\/b\u003e. A strong, inviting fragrance that makes your new place feel like a home—not just a place where you're watching the street through the blinds.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eButt Naked (The Carefree Vacation):\u003c\/b\u003e A fun, fruity explosion of \u003cb\u003emelon, pear, and strawberry\u003c\/b\u003e. Because you deserve a mental vacation from the stress of moving and meeting new \"colorful\" neighbors.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,6,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eFresh Cut Roses (I'm Still Standing):\u003c\/b\u003e A true, deep \u003cb\u003erose fragrance\u003c\/b\u003e. Nothing says \"I’m a successful adult\" like 100 hours of premium, floral luxury filling your new living room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Lebanon Candle Company","offers":[{"title":"Apples \u0026 Bourbon","offer_id":52729661686036,"sku":"Ngh-Crk-ABB","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Raspberry \u0026 Vanilla","offer_id":52729661718804,"sku":"Ngh-Crk-BRV","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butt Naked","offer_id":52729661751572,"sku":"Ngh-Crk-BUTT","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fresh Cut Roses","offer_id":52729661784340,"sku":"Ngh-Crk-ROSES","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fresh Linen","offer_id":52729661817108,"sku":"Ngh-Crk-LINEN","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sandalwood \u0026 Suede","offer_id":52729661849876,"sku":"Ngh-Crk-SUEDE","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sun Washed Citrus","offer_id":52729661882644,"sku":"Ngh-Crk-SUN","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0771\/4334\/3380\/files\/NeighborsAren_tCrackheads_705x_crop_center_e5c71a3c-fa5a-4190-ba12-671c1a82bd53.jpg?v=1782919614","url":"https:\/\/taylorsx.com\/products\/hope-your-new-neighbors-arent-crackheads-funny-candle","provider":"TaylorsX","version":"1.0","type":"link"}